When Fog Rolls In

Peeking in from my own personal fog and wondering if you’re in one, too?

Today’s inspiration offers perspective, a classic story I return to each fall. It comes from Mark Nepo, poet, writer, and one of the deepest thinkers I’ve ever read.

Mark’s teaching, perfect for this season of transitions, comes from his meditation, “Outlasting the Fog,” in The Book of Awakening:

It reminds me of a man who built a home on a cliff by the sea,
only to have a month-long fog roll in.
He cursed the place and moved away,
but a week after he’d gone, the fog cleared.

Indeed, fall is the time for fog. Summer’s sunny pace has gone and we are waiting for the structure of fall’s routines to gel, to shape us, to remind us what’s important as we come into the home stretch of the calendar year.

Perhaps we need to simply be patient and “outlast the fog.”

Confession here, I’ve been swirling around in my own fog lately. My latest hospitalization—another ripple from January’s infamous six-day hospital stay—was a doozy: eight days this time, with high temperatures, low blood pressures, rigors, ice packs, oxygen, and a raging infection.

I was a hot mess!

Thankfully, we found the right meds and figured out a way for me to continue IV treatments at home.

I’m better, but still in a dense fog of uncertainty.

When will I fully heal? How will I know? Who can help me?

I don’t like who I am when I’m in a thick fog. The lack of clarity is exhausting. Life is so saturated with the demands of daily living that my capacity to talk or even listen is disappointingly limited.

Even so, I know this too shall pass. Life moves on and so will the fog.

What helps?

During this hospital stay, I was delighted to get a room with a large window.

“Oh, I’ll get to see the sun this time,” I told the nurse at 2 a.m. as she was getting me settled into my room.

“No, it’s just a hallway,” she said. “But it does let some light in.”

And it did—a misty grey hue—for the first five days. But in the early afternoon of the sixth day, I looked out to find this:

Miss Sun had found her way into my room; her promise into my heart. “There are sunny days ahead,” she whispered to me. “The fog will clear. I will help.”

Although I accepted what was true:

Like the fog’s air particles, too saturated to lift, I too am saturated with uncertainty. – Becky Galli

It was comforting to learn that sunlight helps fog dissipate. Fog forms when the air becomes saturated with moisture, causing droplets of water to hang just above the ground. The sun warms the ground and the air above it; the water droplets evaporate so the fog thins and disappears.

So my new mission in this season of fog is to continue to draw in and cherish these rays of light that will surely help me disperse the fog:

• An unscheduled phone call from one of my kids

• The Snapchat messages from my niece, reminding me to “Stay in the Game”

• My steadfast caregivers who are riding the waves of uncertainty with me and still smiling  

• The dear friends who give me grace when I’m slow to respond to calls or texts  

• A get-well note that included THREE book club reading lists

• Fresh tomatoes from a friend’s garden  

• The artful planting of mums to welcome autumn’s return

• The gorgeous flowers and notes of encouragement that continue to cheer me  

And on we go. . .through the fog–and beyond!

P.S. Speaking of Book Clubs, I’m on Goodreads and would love to know what you’re reading. Audiobooks have helped lift me out of my own challenges and into someone else’s story—another welcome ray of light.

P.P.S. Although I was unable to attend or create a team this year, I was honored to be recognized as a sponsor of Pathfinders for Autism’s Run Wild Event. Donations are still accepted until 10/15. Thanks to all who participated or donated!