Today’s inspiration comes from an email that a good friend forwarded to me entitled, “The Messy, Beautiful Truth About Resilience.” The article focused on a question asked to Duke students from clinical psychologist and best-selling author, Dr. Becky Kennedy:
What does resilience feel like?
It’s a question that I’d never considered. Although I’ve had quite a few challenges in life—sibling loss, special needs children, divorce and then paralysis—I’ve always hesitated to describe myself as resilient.
Until now.
Why?
Dr. Kennedy’s answer resonated deeply with me. Although I’ve always thought of resilience as coping with unplanned change, she suggests:
Resilience reflects our ability to tolerate the “the learning space” we experience as we move from not knowing to knowing.
She then explained that this space has one feeling associated with it:
FRUSTRATION.
Oh, my! If that’s what resilience feels like, then I guess I’m quite resilient. Frustration is often exactly how I feel when I’m faced with one more unchosen path!
And I’m sure I’m not alone. Life’s twists and turns seem to hurl us into straight up learning curves, don’t they? We are thrust into unknown territories that force us to try and fail and try again until we can figure out what works.
And yes, it’s FRUSTRATING!
But if we consider frustration as a companion of resilience, we elevate that annoying feeling, giving it purpose, even respect. Perhaps we should even welcome it, knowing that we are in the process of learning and building resilience.
So, thank you, Dr. Kennedy, for offering a new perspective. How affirming it is to embrace resilience as a feeling.
My best – always,
Becky (Nana B)
P.S. Enjoyed this podcast opportunity with Christina Daves! She asked some great questions. You can tune in here.
P.P.S. Thank you for Amazon reviews! We are making progress. Up to 21. My first goal is 25.
P.P.P.S. Dr. Becky Kennedy’s lecture at Duke – Learning to Fail.
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