COVID19 What’s Missing? A Lesson From My Granddaughter

The photo startled me. Blakely Faye, my four-year-old granddaughter, was wearing a mask. Earlier in the week, my daughter had told me she’d ordered masks for their kids. But to see this photo, well, it took my breath away.

I should be getting used to it, images that take my breath away. With a tender heart, frazzled nerves, and more than one meltdown, I’ve learned to take a deep breath and slowly exhale before I turn on the news, scan social media, or check my email.

Tears aren’t strangers these days.

The lines of refrigeration trucks housing death; the heroic frontline faces, bruised, bloodied, and imprinted by N-95 masks; the tales of courage, strife, and grit, all usher the COVID battlefield into my home and into my heart.

I struggle to absorb it all. Where am I in all of this chaos?

It reminds me of a term used by my friends in the world of physical therapy:

Proprioception.

Sometimes described as our sixth sense, proprioception refers to our body’s awareness of where it is in space. It’s the ability to feel where your body is without seeing it. Like closing your eyes and touching your nose, we sense where our arms are in relation to our nose.

I first heard the term twenty-three years ago, when a team of therapists was helping me adjust to life without the use of my legs. Paralyzed from the waist down, my body was confused and disoriented. I felt like I was sitting in a bowl of jelly. I would be positioned safely in a wheelchair, but still terrified of falling forward and landing on the ground. Even though I knew I had a seatbelt around my hips, could see my lap in front of me and my feet on the footplates, I did not trust what my eyes were telling me. It took weeks for my body’s awareness to catch up with its new reality.

I now sit comfortably in my wheelchair and can even close my eyes and touch my nose. But for the life of me, I am still having trouble figuring out where I am in this COVID-living era. Beyond my body, now it’s my mind that is confused, disoriented, and having a hard time adjusting to this new reality.

Perhaps it’s a mental or emotional proprioception issue?

A comment from “The Office” actor John Krasinski helped me. As part of his new YouTube series, Some Good News, he hosted a “virtual prom” for the class of 2020. He told his audience why he chose to do it:

This is a very, very weird time. Each and every one of you are missing something, and this is the least I could do.—John Kraminski

His words made me stop and think. What IS missing?

For sure, we are all missing important life events. But we’re also missing those every day interactions, the “normal” we long for.

Right?

Maybe.

But maybe not. The truth is, “normal” resists definition. It’s a variable at best.

Life flows. We change. We adapt and move through whatever life sends us each day.

Or, as the Greek philosopher Heraclitus puts it:

No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it’s not the same river and he’s not the same man.

Maybe we’re not missing the life we had; maybe we are missing the choices we had in living that life.

I looked back at my granddaughter’s photo and winced. What choices have been taken away from her? What will she be missing?

I studied her sweet eyes, wondering how a four-year-old would absorb this new reality. With tears in my own, I texted my daughter,

Tell me about Blakely’s mask and how you described it to her.

Within seconds, she responded:

We told her that it helps keep her safe and other people safe so we don’t spread germs.

Wow. So simple and straightforward, yet strangely grounding. Apparently, Blakely absorbed that new reality quickly and with great panache.

Show us how to do it, Blakely!

This mask, I learned, came with the doctor outfit I’d given her two Christmases ago when she told me she wanted to be a doctor when she grew up. Oh, what a different world it is now, dear one. Keep listening to those wise parents of yours and inspiring the rest of us as we press on through these uncharted waters.

How about you? What do you miss most about pre-COVID living? What have you done to reorient yourself to the new reality? Tell me about it. I’d love to know.

And on we go…

P.S. I had a video-chat with Madison last week, along with her siblings, Brittany and Peter. It’s Autism Awareness month so Pathfinders for Autism is engaging virtually. Today, our online auction opens, featuring some great items! Tomorrow, our online Family Scavenger Hunt begins at 4:00 pm and will be a lot of fun for the whole family.

P.P.S. Need to hear a good prayer for these trying times? Check out this new section on my website or my father’s Facebook page. His inspiring words have helped reorient me to what matters most.